Bizarrely, the product development folks over at MEMEME got it in their heads that a lip gloss that lights up as the wand is pulled from the tube is exactly what women are lusting after.

The Light Me Up Lipgloss promises to be an “absolute essential for a girl’s night out”, providing the “perfect solution” for ladies who wish to apply their gloss in the bar queue of a darkened club. 

Err, as often I may be wondering what state my make up is in after I’ve been busting a groove on a sweaty dance floor, I’d like to keep these fleeting moments of vanity to myself, thank you very much. Not even if I found myself squished against my crush-du-jour (Robert Pattinson, if you’re wondering) while queuing for a Gin n Slim would I whip out a Light Me Up Lipgloss for a touch up. The message would be less, “Look at my sultry pout, do you fancy a snog?” and more, “I’m so vain, I must reapply this lipgloss that no one can actually see in such dim light. High-maintenance? Moi?” 

Even Victoria Beckham would cringe at such self-obsession. 

For WAGs in-waiting, MEMEME Light Me Up Lipgloss is available at Superdrug stores nationwide, £6.99