Archive for the ‘WTF?’ Category

It’s a jungle out there. But it needn’t be a jungle…down there, thanks to a new type of bikini re-invention called “Vajazzling”. Yes, we’ve all heard of the Hollywood, perhaps paid the odd visit to Brazil, but Swarowski!? Seriously?

Well…yes, is the answer to that one. Body art is back with a vengeance and apparently no-where is sacred when it comes to a trend. You can get your bits bedazzled and all it will cost is your dignity (which currently retails at around $50). Surely a small price to pay for a brand new, sparkling v-jazzle which will no doubt bring delight/horror to anyone fortunate enough to witness your efforts.

So if you are in NY and have a spare hour to kill, you can choose from a wide variety of designs which are painstakingly applied by a vag-ician, to transform your lady business into your lady beez-knees. What’s not to love? (Apart from having the rug, well and truly pulled out from under you and rhinestones STUCK to your lady floorboards). verity douglas

I wonder what Tim Burton would make of this real life ‘Edward Scissorhands’…

Valentino LoSauro invented The Clawz to be used by stylists who like to feel their way through hair when layering and texturising. They are basically wearable finger razors that can be used by hairdressers who like to be more ‘hands-on’. Valentino doesn’t quote Scissorhands as his influence, but says they were inspired by a mixture of his piano playing and hairdressing interests.

Looks like the KFC Colonel Saunders gone bad! alexia inge

I know Paris-bashing is a national sport and I am only really feeding the publicity machine by writing this. But seriously, a MERMAID?! In the rush to find a spangly gold costume and reason for exposing a little flesh they have rather mixed their myths up. The Sirens were 3 rather dangerous bird women, hence the amazing voices. alexia inge

Yes, I know it seems obscenely early to start talking about Christmas, and ordinarily I don’t put Scrooge back in the closet until mid-December, but somehow the prospect of seeing Colin Firth (swoon!) flick the switch of the Regent Street Christmas lights this evening has put me in a festive frame of mind.

And so this afternoon I got to thinking: what will the Boyf buy me this Christmas? He is a rather inexperienced (and very last-minute!) shopper and I often find myself braving Oxford Street on the 2nd of January to return his “what-were-you-thinking?” purchases. This year I refuse to enter Selfridges until that chaotic sale is well and truly over, so instead of my usual “surprise me” request, I will be making it very clear what I want: teeth whitening. And he needn’t leave his desk to buy it.

An unusual gift request, you say? Not at all. In fact a new survey has revealed that 54 per cent of women say they would love to receive a cosmetic procedure for Christmas. And this year alone has seen a 17 per cent rise in cosmetic procedures given as gifts, with Botox and chemical peels proving particularly popular.

But tread carefully with this one, I can’t help but think that mums across the country might be more than a little miffed come Christmas morn when they unwrap the suggestion of a filler or two. – martiena van der meer

Renowned for their ‘edgy’ style, the Olsen twins have finally taken things a step too far and fallen right off the cliff. Looking like a couple of dissident Bunnies escaped from the Playboy Mansion, Mary Kate and Ashley proved that fame really does mess with the head when they sported these Maison Michel ears. What possessed them, who knows?  But sure enough, when the Olsen’s adopt a trend, other celebutantes are quick to follow. Nicky Hilton has also tried, and failed, to work this ‘mini-trend’ initially sparked by Madonna (who, for the record, we cannot advocate as a style icon), along with Lady GaGa who manages to look, well, nuts as ever.

American actress Stacy Haiduk showed up to the Daytime Emmy Awards last week wearing what can only be described as fashion roadkill. Our sole assumption is that the Young and the Restless actress is a taxidermy enthusiast in her spare time, as she took to the red carpet with a cat hanging from her shoulder. That’s right, a cat. A once living, preserved after death, cat. I know people get attached to their pets, but c’mon! Is this the latest trend for crazy old cat ladies?

Ever thought that the one thing missing from your make up bag is a light up lip gloss? No, me either. 

Bizarrely, the product development folks over at MEMEME got it in their heads that a lip gloss that lights up as the wand is pulled from the tube is exactly what women are lusting after.

The Light Me Up Lipgloss promises to be an “absolute essential for a girl’s night out”, providing the “perfect solution” for ladies who wish to apply their gloss in the bar queue of a darkened club. 

Err, as often I may be wondering what state my make up is in after I’ve been busting a groove on a sweaty dance floor, I’d like to keep these fleeting moments of vanity to myself, thank you very much. Not even if I found myself squished against my crush-du-jour (Robert Pattinson, if you’re wondering) while queuing for a Gin n Slim would I whip out a Light Me Up Lipgloss for a touch up. The message would be less, “Look at my sultry pout, do you fancy a snog?” and more, “I’m so vain, I must reapply this lipgloss that no one can actually see in such dim light. High-maintenance? Moi?” 

Even Victoria Beckham would cringe at such self-obsession. 

For WAGs in-waiting, MEMEME Light Me Up Lipgloss is available at Superdrug stores nationwide, £6.99