Archive for the ‘WTF?’ Category

This video makes the age-old practice of punishing passed-out friends, by shaving off their eyebrows and writing ‘Virgin’ on their foreheads with indelible marker, look tame. I am highly impressed with the ingenuity of the youth of today. If someone has shaven your brows here are two product that will really help Peter Thomas Roth Lashes to Die For regrows hair quickly and until that happens you can draw them back in with T LeClerc Eyebrow Pencil. alexia inge

The conservative American press, and by that I mostly mean Fox, have been getting their knickers in a knot about a recent J Crew mail-out featuring their creative director Jenna Lyons, pictured in a cute pose with her son (see below). So far so sickly sweet… The fact that she has painted his toenails pink, and talks about how fortunate she is that it’s her son’s favourite colour, has sparked conservative bloggers to accuse the retailer of pushing homosexual and transgender propaganda. WTF, seriously!! I thought we were in an age where we were trying to break down gender barriers and petty profiling based solely on a chance of genetic fate.

What do you think, does anyone think this could be harming the boy? He looks pretty happy to me. If anyone fancies following suit we suggest you check out our nail varnish collections, there are some lovely pinks!!

Kate Winslet appears to have fallen on hard times, now moonlighting as a late night chat-room worker. The cheesy syth music has me waiting for the breathy voice-over to cut in, “Feeling lonely? At Bonkome we have 100′s of beautiful girls waiting to talk to YOU.” Who are all Kate’s sultry come to bed stares aimed at, because it sure as hell doesn’t make me want to buy lipstick? alexia inge

Shame on you Pantene and shame on you Disney for allowing your audience to be manipulated in this fashion! Using a Disney film to openly promote Pantene products to CHILDREN not yet equipped to make the distinction between reality and cartoons, even using cartoon versions of the product in the trailer. This is an incredibly misguided marketing campaign that should never have made it through advertising standards authority, Boooo Hissss Boooo. alexia inge

Monsieur Lagerfeld and his cronies at Chanel Inc. have decreed, in a full page(s) advert in Women’s Wear Daily, that any “Fashion editors, advertisers, copywriters and other well-intentioned mis-users of our Chanel name” will be sued within a kitten heel of their lives.

Most brand creators would give their eye teeth to establish an ‘ism’, bringing the brand name into the common vernacular (to google, to hoover etc.) Nothing short of a baby-eating, nazi-animal shagging, radioactive-eco disaster could harm the solidity of the beautiful Chanel brand, but this move stinks of a serious lack of a sense of humour! alexia inge

Just when you thought it was safe to go to the supermarket, another food-like product has hit the shelves…Squeez Bacon. I kid you not! The process, discovered by Swede Vilhelm Lillefläsk, uses 100% cooked bacon and due to the patented electro-mechanical process by which Squeez Bacon is rendered, it apparently contains no preservatives or other additives.

I just love the tag-line, and the Sushi serving suggestion….wow, some beautifully fresh omega-rich salmon, how can I better it? Aha, some squeezable pork…

For an amusing Christmas pressy buy your Squeez Bacon here

It’s Friday afternoon, we’re cruising the net looking for funny little facts to ease you through the last hours of ‘work’ and look what we stumbled upon!

In Victorian times, gentlemen used to style their hair with Macassar oil, made from coconut or palm oil mixed with ylang ylang oil, and so named because it was said to be made from ingredients bought in the port of Makassar, Indonesia. Byron apparently called it “thine incomparable oil, Macassar’ and he was mad, bad etc etc (in short, a prime male-model-Monday candidate).

So…. these natty chaps would leave oily stains on the high backs of those uncomfortable armchairs so beloved of our humourless ancestors – gross, right? And lo, from the 1850s, dinky white lace-trimmed doilies started appearing to protect aforementioned back-of-armchair and they were christened…  antimacassars! Anti-macassar – as in oil! Get it?!

OK, so this make up range is much loved by notoriously difficult bloggers. But I feel like I’m taking crazy pills – does no-one else find Edward Bess a little freaky? Looking at the image he chose for his homepage (see below, pictured with his 3 sisters) he looks rather like an extra from the Twilight series, posing with his next lunch.

I have been inspired to write this by the insane amount of sycophantic twaddle twiddling its way round the super highways. All you read about in reviews of Edward’s range is his aMAzing bone structure, charming manner, tumbling chestnut locks and background in modelling…not one word qualifying why. Why should we buy a range formulated by a boy, where are his beauty credentials other than being ‘pretty’ himself?

Where are the years of experience in the industry honing skills and understanding the needs of the women using his product? There are so many brands out there so much more qualified to receive such gushing praise. Bess’ range, while good quality with easy to wear colours, is nothing unique. This idea has already been executed beautifully by Laura Mercier, Bobbi Brown and Trish McAvoy.

….Aaaand release bee from bonnet….alexia inge

Each season, I treat myself to a new pair of Fitflops. Not only are they über-comfortable, but I definitely feel the burn and have firmer thighs for my pains. I wear them so often that I actually wear them out every 6 months or so, then go running back for a new pair.

Unfortunately, this year, someone else coveted my gorgeous Anna Sui Fiorella sandals before I had a chance to batter them to death. Our local fox has knicked them after I, stupidly, left them on the terrace overnight. So, please keep your eyes out for a particularly shapely urban fox somewhere in South West London. Reward offered.

These ads hark back to a time frequently portrayed as somehow better and more innocent, where men were men and women were grateful, and there was no advertising standards authority…alexia inge

I just saw this Tampax ad in Allure Magazine at the same time as taking a gulp of coffee, the results were not pretty! If that’s what Mother Nature considers a gift she’s definitely not invited to my next birthday party… alexia inge

My my Alexa, don’t you look nice in your Florence + Fred for Tesco frock with its sweet rose print and heart cut out detail. Oh no hang on a second you’re actually wearing LUELLA SS10 and F+F have completely ripped it off!

Clearly the good people at Tesco thought no-one would mind as poor old Luella’s gone out of business and the gorgeous SS10 collection we fell in love with on the catwalk last autumn is never going to see the light of day. Major sad face and SHAME on you Tesco. phoebe frangoul

It’s a jungle out there. But it needn’t be a jungle…down there, thanks to a new type of bikini re-invention called “Vajazzling”. Yes, we’ve all heard of the Hollywood, perhaps paid the odd visit to Brazil, but Swarowski!? Seriously?

Well…yes, is the answer to that one. Body art is back with a vengeance and apparently no-where is sacred when it comes to a trend. You can get your bits bedazzled and all it will cost is your dignity (which currently retails at around $50). Surely a small price to pay for a brand new, sparkling v-jazzle which will no doubt bring delight/horror to anyone fortunate enough to witness your efforts.

So if you are in NY and have a spare hour to kill, you can choose from a wide variety of designs which are painstakingly applied by a vag-ician, to transform your lady business into your lady beez-knees. What’s not to love? (Apart from having the rug, well and truly pulled out from under you and rhinestones STUCK to your lady floorboards). verity douglas

I wonder what Tim Burton would make of this real life ‘Edward Scissorhands’…

Valentino LoSauro invented The Clawz to be used by stylists who like to feel their way through hair when layering and texturising. They are basically wearable finger razors that can be used by hairdressers who like to be more ‘hands-on’. Valentino doesn’t quote Scissorhands as his influence, but says they were inspired by a mixture of his piano playing and hairdressing interests.

Looks like the KFC Colonel Saunders gone bad! alexia inge

I know Paris-bashing is a national sport and I am only really feeding the publicity machine by writing this. But seriously, a MERMAID?! In the rush to find a spangly gold costume and reason for exposing a little flesh they have rather mixed their myths up. The Sirens were 3 rather dangerous bird women, hence the amazing voices. alexia inge

Yes, I know it seems obscenely early to start talking about Christmas, and ordinarily I don’t put Scrooge back in the closet until mid-December, but somehow the prospect of seeing Colin Firth (swoon!) flick the switch of the Regent Street Christmas lights this evening has put me in a festive frame of mind.

And so this afternoon I got to thinking: what will the Boyf buy me this Christmas? He is a rather inexperienced (and very last-minute!) shopper and I often find myself braving Oxford Street on the 2nd of January to return his “what-were-you-thinking?” purchases. This year I refuse to enter Selfridges until that chaotic sale is well and truly over, so instead of my usual “surprise me” request, I will be making it very clear what I want: teeth whitening. And he needn’t leave his desk to buy it.

An unusual gift request, you say? Not at all. In fact a new survey has revealed that 54 per cent of women say they would love to receive a cosmetic procedure for Christmas. And this year alone has seen a 17 per cent rise in cosmetic procedures given as gifts, with Botox and chemical peels proving particularly popular.

But tread carefully with this one, I can’t help but think that mums across the country might be more than a little miffed come Christmas morn when they unwrap the suggestion of a filler or two. – martiena van der meer

Renowned for their ‘edgy’ style, the Olsen twins have finally taken things a step too far and fallen right off the cliff. Looking like a couple of dissident Bunnies escaped from the Playboy Mansion, Mary Kate and Ashley proved that fame really does mess with the head when they sported these Maison Michel ears. What possessed them, who knows?  But sure enough, when the Olsen’s adopt a trend, other celebutantes are quick to follow. Nicky Hilton has also tried, and failed, to work this ‘mini-trend’ initially sparked by Madonna (who, for the record, we cannot advocate as a style icon), along with Lady GaGa who manages to look, well, nuts as ever.

American actress Stacy Haiduk showed up to the Daytime Emmy Awards last week wearing what can only be described as fashion roadkill. Our sole assumption is that the Young and the Restless actress is a taxidermy enthusiast in her spare time, as she took to the red carpet with a cat hanging from her shoulder. That’s right, a cat. A once living, preserved after death, cat. I know people get attached to their pets, but c’mon! Is this the latest trend for crazy old cat ladies?

Ever thought that the one thing missing from your make up bag is a light up lip gloss? No, me either. 

Bizarrely, the product development folks over at MEMEME got it in their heads that a lip gloss that lights up as the wand is pulled from the tube is exactly what women are lusting after.

The Light Me Up Lipgloss promises to be an “absolute essential for a girl’s night out”, providing the “perfect solution” for ladies who wish to apply their gloss in the bar queue of a darkened club. 

Err, as often I may be wondering what state my make up is in after I’ve been busting a groove on a sweaty dance floor, I’d like to keep these fleeting moments of vanity to myself, thank you very much. Not even if I found myself squished against my crush-du-jour (Robert Pattinson, if you’re wondering) while queuing for a Gin n Slim would I whip out a Light Me Up Lipgloss for a touch up. The message would be less, “Look at my sultry pout, do you fancy a snog?” and more, “I’m so vain, I must reapply this lipgloss that no one can actually see in such dim light. High-maintenance? Moi?” 

Even Victoria Beckham would cringe at such self-obsession. 

For WAGs in-waiting, MEMEME Light Me Up Lipgloss is available at Superdrug stores nationwide, £6.99